I apologies to any younger readers, as this is a bit of a rude story!
Now, I don't know if I've ever told you that I love interior design. I just love it. I actually have a subscription to the Ideal Home magazine because it is definitely the best home magazine. Twice a year, the Ideal Home magazine put on an event, showcasing lots of different companies and just all kinds of homey things. One of these is Christmas themed.
I had begged my parents to let me go, and they had eventually agreed (though I found out later that this was more because they wanted to buy some furniture for their new extension rather than for my benefit!). We travelled to London on a Saturday before Christmas, gave in out tickets and entered the show.
I have to say before I get into the actual story that the Ideal Home Show is great! I would really recommend the Christmas one because there are so many amazing stalls selling great Christmas presents and decorations and food and everything you can think of! There's also a fashion show, an ice rink, and this amazing stall that sells marshmallows dipped in a chocolate fountain! I'm just saying...
Anyway, after several hours of wandering around and shopping and enjoying one of these marshmallow-chocolate kebabs, we were just about to leave when I noticed that we were standing by the goody bag station. I had seen lots of people walking around with these goody bags, but had had no idea where you could get them, so naturally I was very excited.
I persuaded my parents to let me queue up for one (in the longest queue ever) while they nattered on to a stall holder about dining room tables. Finally I got to the front of the queue and was presented with a bag. The way it worked was you walked from desk to desk with your bag open and the people put things in it for you. I got some of the most random things in my bag including poppadum's, face cream samples, and 10% off toilet replacements.
I got to the final desk, and waited while an old couple giggled about something in front of me and took whatever it was that was on the desk. I distinctly remember the woman saying: "Well it can't hurt, can it?"
I didn't recognise this last magical gift for my goody bag. The box was quite colourful, and I remember thinking that it may be sweets. You'll understand how heart breaking that is in just a moment.
Just as I was reaching for it, the woman behind the counter asked me how old I was. I told her that I was 13, which I was at that time, and she looked a little uncomfortable and told me that I wasn't allowed them.
It was at this moment when, filled with confusion, my mother grabbed my arm and pulled me away. She asked me what I was doing and I told her that I wasn't allowed the last goody for my goody bag.
It was at that moment that she told me that the mysterious box was in fact a box of condoms.
Now just imagine a 13 year olds brain, who had just tried to get condoms which they thought were sweets; and had just heard old people giggling about them; and who, to be totally honest, didn't really get what condoms were anyway, but knew that it involved that thing with men and women who love each other very much: this was absolutely mortifying.
I don't think that I got over it for several days, although now I just find it completely hilarious! I can't even imagine how it must have looked, but I feel bad for that lady behind the desk!
So there you have it, my most embarrassing memory that just so happens to be Christmas themed! I would love to hear yours, I think I've earnt it!
See you tomorrow!
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